Listening for Joy

66. Listening for Joy (31 August 2025)

Trust the Lebanese to find humor in the 
threat of bombing. (5 July 2025 - Antelias)

It almost never fails. From a nearby balcony on Sunday afternoons I can hear the sounds of children laughing, playing, splashing, arguing, making up, and the occasional sound of adult intervention when needed. I’ve never seen these children, but I know that they are an integral part of the soundscape around our Geitawi apartment on Sundays. It seems that this family does not go up to the cool mountains, like so many Beirutis do, but content themselves with their apartment (I don’t even know which building they are in!) and their games on the balcony. I can tell that one of them is a boy, because since I’ve started innocently eavesdropping a couple of years ago, one of the voices has started to get deeper and gruffer. The joy of their play brings me joy, as well as a bit of longing to be able to witness firsthand their innocent and fierce childhood interaction.

Adding some color to the usual drab 
concrete - not a bad idea. 
(2 July 2025 - Geitawi, Beirut) 

            How is it that they are able to be so carefree, when Lebanon, the region, and beyond is in such turmoil? Isn’t it because they are children, and they have not yet been burdened with the cares and woes of adolescence, youth and maturity? Nearby are their protectors, the elders of the family, and there is no need to think beyond the moment. It is as it should be.

            Since returning from the U.S. this summer, each night my mind has been occupied with the antithesis of these children’s world: the security situation in the country, the threats from Lebanon’s erstwhile “neighbors”, with their warplanes and their self-justifications. Images of children and adults being deliberately starved and bombed for no particular objective other than to create misery and usurp their homeland. Additionally, my mind is crowded with reports of the actions of the elected leaders of “our homeland” (as we Armenians like to call the land which has never been “home”), ceding the past, future and present of Armenia to those who have repeatedly betrayed us; relying on smiles, promises and handshakes; increasingly suppressing dissent from current governmental policies and proclamations. Add to this the careless rush of so many individuals and people groups toward a more mechanized, inhuman and technology-ruled future…

Works perfectly, as long as there is no 
emergency. (18 June 2025 - AUH, Beirut)

            The cacophony that occupied my jet-lagged mind in those weeks contained no joy. Though my jet-lag has mostly passed, but the inner cacophony continues, since the present, tragic condition of this world shows little evidence of substantial improvement or hope. Enduring nightmarish nights, I eventually realized I must seek joy elsewhere, after the morning’s light, when I could intentionally focus on life and hope. And intentionally do the same during my evening prayers, making the nights more tolerable. To focus on the joy that I can discern.

            Like a child beginning to walk learns by walking and experimenting with the best way to keep his balance, I am finding a way out of the funk of each day by squinting expectantly in this direction or that. Something is bound to suggest to me that, yes, there is joy to be found.

Mirrors and mosaics at the refurbished 
"Jim's Steaks" (5 Aug 2025 - Philadelphia)

            To start with, I am learning to watch and listen for joy amid the noise, and not wait for things to improve in order to shift my focus. Here is some of what I found.

            Recently at a school program I had a friend’s three-year-old on my lap as we waited for the program to start. I was enjoying interacting with her, perhaps a bit too much. Soon I realized that I was undermining the careful guidance her parents had instilled in her. I also realized that I was relishing the moment too much to help her behave… or to behave myself! But it was a potent injection of joy!

Somebody has some wild ideas for a new 
sidewalk design. (19 Aug. 2025 - Geitawi)

                              When visiting elders at the Armenian Sanatorium, a few of us pastors went into the room of a bedridden woman, and heard her singing, unprompted, the very same song of assurance that we had just been singing outside. It was a message from God that he was present in her room before we showed up, reminding us of his care. Another influx of joy and peace!

            Driving back from exercising one night I noticed red and blue flashing lights. In my (North American) experience that could mean only one thing: an emergency vehicle, perhaps a police car, or a fire engine, or an ambulance. I should be pulling over and letting it pass as quickly as possible, right? However, this is Lebanon, and as I approached the flashing lights, I realized that the “emergency lights” were something else. A taxi, with its shiny chrome accessories and colorful garlands around the windows, either picking up or dropping off a customer. It could have also been a water delivery truck, or even a coffee van, both of which make use of those red and blue strobes. I used to be bothered by this “misuse” of emergency lights. Now I just smile and shake my head. Smiling is not a substitute for joy, but it helps calm things down inside.

LebCat 66 - Keeping a watchful eye over 
shoppers on Arax Street. 
(22 Aug. 2025 - Bourj Hammoud)

        On a recent night when I was taking the trash to the dumpster across the street I was taken aback by the illumination on our building’s usual pitch-black section of the street. I looked up, and on the utility pole was a brand-new, solar-powered street light! Whirling around to the other end of our building I saw a second street light, shining in the darkness! For some reason, the municipality finally replaced those two lights, which had been burned out and covered with overgrown trees for at least as long as we’ve been here in Lebanon. Fortunately, I wasn’t so disoriented that I forgot to dump the trash.

            The other week I was alone on the balcony mid-day, with the sound of traffic, and horns, and trash trucks, with the hammering and yelling from a nearby construction site, and the incessant rumbling of private generators all around me, when I heard… the laughter and chatter of children’s voices. Could it be? It wasn’t a Sunday, but like a bird chirping in the middle of a rainstorm, there it was! A moment of joy, a vicarious participation in the carefree play of those neighbor children.

            So perhaps those glimpses of joy are always there, and what I need to do is to calm down and pay attention so as to hear or see these points of joy, and then to be refreshed and encouraged to carry on. And to realize that when I continue my work in a positive and loving frame of mind, I can provide others with a glimpse of joy to see and be encouraged by.

            I think I’ll make this a habit.   [LNB]

Welcome Home

65. Welcome Home (14 April 2025)

"MLGA" - doesn't roll off the tongue very
nicely. I wonder how it would look on a cap?
(14 Apr. 2025 - Bourj Hammoud)

It has been almost four weeks since our return to Beirut from our “home assignment”, and we are relieved to be back. Not because everything is rosy or easy, but because we have a sense that we are where we are supposed to be, where we are called to be. Yes, the electricity and water supply is still unstable. Yes, the Internet is sometimes there, sometimes not, but always slow. Yes, the roads are full of people who care even less than before about how they drive. Yes, they still think that their car horns will magically cause the traffic in front of them to disappear. Yes, buildings continue to ascend to serve those who do not feel the pain of ordinary Lebanese. Yes, the economy is still in tatters, banks are continuing to abuse depositors, and we have to carry around dollars for larger purchases (such as groceries at the supermarket). Yes, the disparity between rich and poor is stark, and people mostly don’t notice the poor around them. Yes, drones still ply the skies overhead on behalf of “The Chosen”, to take note of and eliminate “The Rejected” and crush and kill “The Unlucky”. And, yes, the attacks by our war-mongering southern “neighbor” continues to be cheered on by the Machiavellian foreign policy of our home country. After we shared the news of the first attack on Beirut since our return, our son Sevag wrote to us: “Welcome home.” Sincere and ironic at the same time.

The end of another old building,
the beginning of another high-rise.
(25 Mar. 2025 - Ras Beirut)

            Sunday, April 13, marked a half-century since the Lebanese Civil War. It was a war, for sure, but the “civil” moniker is a debatable point. Wars are never polite, but more than that, it was not merely the outcome of local, societal tensions, but rather a product of regional conflicts, fueled by powers outside the region. In recent days we watched and read some remembrances and news commentaries, with lots of archival footage reminding us of that era in Lebanon. We lived through just a few – nine months’ worth – of the Civil War, when I was a theology student at NEST and Maria was a nurse at the American University Hospital. Perhaps it was at that time when Beirut started to occupy the quality of “home” in my thoughts and feelings. It was then that I had connected to something deeper than the misery and uncertainty of the war, something which some of my friends, now emigrated to the West, found puzzling. They would express their wonder: “You love this place more than us!”

The joy of children's "Hosannas"!
(13 Apr. 2025 - Qantari, Beirut

            But “home” is more than geography. It is geography plus people plus meaning. That is something we have found here, in this battered scrap of the remnant of Western Armenia. We regularly hear the comment, “Lebanon is such a beautiful country, but the people are trash! That’s the problem with this country.” Upon hearing this, a friend of ours countered, “But the people are beautiful, too! We have such dear ones around us, like you, to share a cup of coffee with!” Yesterday, during Palm Sunday services, I reminded myself that the presence of the children singing God’s praises, right before us, is more valuable than the memories of past Palm Sundays when there were so many more children, or when times were “better”.

Beirut ProTip: You can always find a place to
park if you look for the "No Parking" signs.
(11 Apr. 2025 - Hamra, Beirut)

            Living with contrasts and contradictions; that’s what it’s like to live in Lebanon. Some of the most beautiful springtime flowers in Beirut are the variegated orange blooms that come up amidst bright green leaves [Nasturtiums, for you gardeners] – and they are often seen proliferating… around garbage dumpsters. Or, to keep people from parking on sidewalks and to open up a place to walk instead of the streets, bollards are installed everywhere, to the point where you can’t walk on the sidewalks because the bollards take up all the space. Or, on Bliss Street, at the crosswalk across from the Main Gate of the American University, concrete blocks were placed in the street to keep people from double and triple parking and to improve the traffic flow. The result is that people double and triple park next to the obstacles, and so traffic on Bliss Street crawls more slowly in the narrow path remaining. And then there are the rubble-filled lots, or the bullet-ridden buildings that have been abandoned since the Civil War, that, thanks to nature, have given a bit of extra greenery to the crowded streets, while also serving as public toilets for taxi drivers. None of this is new to me, but it showed itself afresh as I reinstituted my daily walks, something I had scant opportunity to do while in the U.S.

 

Is Beirut still screaming? Shouldn't it be
louder? (28 Mar. 2025 - Gemmayzeh, Beirut)

           Last week while driving to the dojo where I work out I found myself stuck in a traffic jam, different than the usual evening rush hour. Motorbikes were weaving in and out of the rows of cars, some of them on delivery routes, but others of them with flags and Palestinian scarves. As I inched forward, I realized that I was headed into a demonstration. The wide sidewalk at Ain el Mraisseh was crowded with people, likely both Lebanese and Palestinians, protesting the war on Gaza. It seemed that those driving by were more in number than those on the sidewalk, though I didn’t stop and count. But as with all crises, including all the abuses perpetrated upon the Lebanese by their leaders, along with the rampant corruption infecting all spheres of life, things that may prove too entrenched to eradicate any time soon, those who just want to get on with their business (like me) will remain in the majority. Instead of resisting and raising our voices, we will merely complain and move on. But if it’s your home that’s at risk, shouldn’t you try to do more?

LebCat 65: Waiting for that one phone call,
that big break that will turn everything
around! (12 Apr. 2025 - Geitawi, Beirut)

            And so, my thoughts inevitably go to Armenia, both the part that the international community sort-of recognizes as well as the parts that are either ignored or considered inconvenient (even by some in Armenia’s officialdom). Calling Armenia “home” or “homeland” should lead us to do more than simply to hold a remembrance event on April 24. It must unite – in our thoughts, feelings and especially our actions – land, people and meaning, in the pursuit of what is just, not what is convenient. To that end, for the sake of “our homeland,” what am I doing? And what are you doing?   [LNB]